She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
