a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
