I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
