you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
