yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
