yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
