i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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