Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize