Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
