my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
