White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
