i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
