Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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