I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
