I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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