my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Randomize
