Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
