wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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