quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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