I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
