The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
