i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
