I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
one two three fourrrrnication!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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