some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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