god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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