i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
