I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
