Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
