You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
