I am puke
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The ass gains better be worth it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
