I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
