Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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