We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
