Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
