what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
