its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Its about making memories worth repressing
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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