I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
