He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
