i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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