Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
