You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
