I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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