Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
