i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
