I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
