Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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