is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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