So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
