you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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