you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
